Benny's Diary
by LimeyMelodies
Summary: This is a side story from my sis, psycho-bunny's "Bring Me to Life" story. I'm so attached to the character Benny an OC she created that I asked if I can do side stories based off of the adventures of Benny and Kat... and poor Sam and Dean.
1. Entry I

Dear Die-er-ee:

I was playing twenty questions with Dean today. I have learned this is a great game to play with him when he's in one of those broody-brood moods. I LOVE doing, so. The following is the basic conversation of the event.

Me: Okay, I have it… ask me.

Dean: What?

Me: Twenty questions… Ask.

Dean: Okay? Um… is it a thing?

Me: Yes… no…

Dean: Is it a person?

Me: Sort of.

Dean: An animal?

Me: Kinda…

Dean: What is it?

Me: Can't tell you. And that question doesn't count…

Dean: What?!

Me: Nor does that one. Please, ask a question.

Dean: Fine. Do I know of it?

Me: Yep.

Dean: How do you know?

Me *gives Dean a "You gotta be kidding me" look*: It's you.

Dean: Is it… scaley?

Me: Nope.

Dean: Furry?

Me: Oh, totally.

Dean: Does it meow?

Me: No… Not really.

Dean: Does it bark?

Me: No…

Dean: Does it make noise?

Me:Yeah.

Dean: How would you describe the noise?

Me: Whiney. *grins*

Dean: Whiney? Does it whine all the time?

Me: Well, maybe "whiney" isn't the right adjective… try… naggy.

Dean: Naggy?

Me: Yes… This kind seems to nag a lot.

Dean *thinks*: I dunno! How many questions has it been?

Me: Thirteen… that actually relate to the topic at hand. This one also doesn't count.

Dean: There's no way I'm going to get it!

Me: Just ask.

Dean: FINE! Does it come in different colors.

Me: Slight differences… mostly monochromatic.

Dean: Are they "pretty"?

Me: To most people standards? No.

Dean: Does it growl?

Me: You can call it a growl.

Dean: Will you tell me?

Me: No.

Dean: Why not?

Me: Because I am held by the VERY STRICT rules of Twenty Q's…

Dean: FINE. I won't ask any more questions, then…

Me: Fine.

*Sam and Kat arrive back at the table*

Me *lean over to Dean's ear*: It's a Wookie.

Dean: A Wookie?! You were thinking of a Wookie?!

Kat *grins at Dean *: She still wants to be one?

Me: Oh, come on, Kat! You KNOW it'd be awesome.

Sam *grins*

Dean *scoffs*

I dunno how poor Dean is going to deal with this idea, now.

Lulz

With love,

Benny


	2. Entry II

Dear Dye-a-ree:

It's me again. I have a new fascination with weird deaths…

Like, this one guy actually died from laughing too hard! I didn't know that was actually possible! … THAT'S AWESOME!

OH! Another dude, who was a philosopher in … Greece? Rome? He was killed by a hawk dropping a tortoise or a turtle (don't remember which) on his bald head.

Another died when he was beaten to death with his own wooden leg…

Anyways… this actually has relevance… I was telling Dean about this weird fascination; seeing what kind of reaction I'd get. He was somewhat put aback, but not having the expression I was hoping for. THEN, he later sits beside me and hands me this pile of papers and says, "I think you'll find these good. I highlighted my favorites… sorry about the repeats." … It was some lists of bizarre deaths!

What's up with him?

With love,

Benny


	3. Entry III

Dear …

I need to give you a name… That'd be more interesting… I think… I'll try to come up with one as these entries progress onward.

Maybe I can choose a name now! Okay! I shall!

Dudley… no

George… no

Dean… NO!

Heath… no…

Louise… no

Bonnie… no

Lucielle… no

Impala… NO!

Jameson… no

Remington… no

Winchester… NO!

Han Solo… NO.

Obi… I'm not even finishing that!

Wookie…NO!

I KNOW! Ewok! You are now, Ewok!

With love,

Benny


	4. Entry IV

Dear Ewok:

I cannot believe I got myself in this mess… I made a bet with Kat that I can take care of myself… And, now, I'm sharing the same roach motel room with Dean Freakin' Winchester. Great.

THE FOLLOWING IS AN ESTIMATED ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE PHONE CALL WITH KAT ABOUT SWITCHING ROOMS.

Dean: So, vampiric tendencies…

Benny: Yeah… Retractable fangs…

Dean: Yeah… Decapitation…

Benny: Yeah… I don't do decapitation. Yeah, I'm totally not 'down' with that… or how the heck ever those kids who need belts say it.

Dean: 'Kids who need belts'?

Benny: YEAH, those with the obviously hand-me-down pants… they're WAY too big for them. *grins*

Dean: They buy them that way.

Benny: Why would they do that? Don't they know that plus sizes run at higher prices? They're being greedy with the materials, is that it? Can I tell one of them to relinquish some material for poor people?!

Dean: Next thing you know you'll force them to give up their shoelaces that they never tie.

Benny: HEY! Convicts need those laces to commit the Coward's Way Out... AKA: Suicide!

Dean: Isn't someone bitter?

Benny: Don't blame me for the moral that I learned from my father.

Dean: Yeah, I heard about him.

Benny: From whom?

Dean: Bobby.

Benny: Well… If Bobby trusts you… I guess I can trust you with a knife with my back turned.

Dean: Gee, thanks.

Benny: What do you expect from a fellow hunter?

Dean: I dunno, a little bit of respect.

Benny: I didn't try to slit your throat, did I?

Dean: No, you just tried to shoot me.

Benny: See? I didn't try to slit your throat.

Dean: That's not that comforting.

Benny *wicked grin*: Oh yeah? I'll have to keep that in mind when I'm torturing you if you ever screw with my sister.

Dean: Why would I screw around with Kat.

Benny: Why not? She's beautiful, intelligent, and has that nifty mysterious feature about her.

Dean *steps WAY too close for comfort*: I'm not interested with screwing with Kat.

Benny: Okay… I'm thinking of taking a shower before we research some more… My hair will be dry by the time I head to bed.

Dean *gets evil grin on face*

Benny: The door is going to be secure, and you won't have access to my clothes, therefore, I'm safe of being left without clothes.

Dean *straightens face as if realizing he cannot do anything*: That's fine. I think I'll take one, too. I mean, I haven't showered in a long time.

Benny: I can tell by your smell.

Dean *gets way too close, again*: OH?

Benny: Yes, you smell of elder-- *phone rings "The Kitty-Cat Song"*

Dean *raises and eyebrow*: Kat?

Benny: How'd you guess? *into phone* Thank you for calling Chex Mix, how may I be of assistance?


	5. Entry V

Dear Ewok:

I keep having dreams of better times… for Kat.

It was back when she was dating this one guy, Edward. He was a decent enough guy.

We called him Eddie. And, only the two of us were allowed to do so. Then, soon it became "Ward" from me. Or, bluntly, "Warden"… He became not only worried about Kat while we would go hunt. He began to ask about me as well. Soon, when I answered her phone, he started to hold conversations with me, or tried to, that is. Usually those conversations would be.

Eddie: So, how are you?

Benny: Fine. She'll be here in a moment.

Eddie: Yeah, she is. So, do you have any guys?

Benny: I'm a hunter; I don't do guys.

Eddie: Oh, so all hunters are only for women?

Benny: More like, we don't have the time usually. You oughta be happy that Kat finds time for you.

Eddie: Now, Benny, don't be that way.

Benny: Don't tell me what to do, Edward. Here she is.

I was decent towards him! He really should have been grateful! Okay, MORE grateful.

Okay, I'll admit, he was a good man. He treated Kat well. I think he almost worshiped her. Which she totally deserves! But, I have to hand to him. He wouldn't have ever harmed Kat on purpose. He was in love with her… I just didn't want him to focus on me too.

I guess that's why I've been kinda distant around Sam. I mean, the dude is great. And, he treats Kat like she deserves. I'd demand more, but he's a good guy and I don't wanna scare him away. I feel that's what happened with Eddie. I don't want Sam to become another Eddie. Eddies aren't good… That is dudes who have tragic tales attached to their names. Well, MORE tragic tales. I mean, the Winchester name already has some tragedy attach to it. But, none of it was from broken hearts.

Anyways… I have faith in Sam. I think he'd be great to be there for Kat. Especially when the time comes when I leave this world.

Well, I better let you go!

With Love,

Benny


	6. Entry VI

Dear Ewok:

I have learned one of Dean's favorite songs is the "Ding Fries are Done" one by Peter Griffin of "Family Guy". I now know this, because I used the all mighty YouTube™ to find the clip and every time I adjusted the volume on it, Dean would yell, "NO!" And, if I played it again he'd bare his teeth is this really weird smile.

Lulz

With love,

Benny


	7. Entry VII

Dear Ewok:

I tortured Dean today. I asked him a very simple question, of which he has answered me on.

I simply sat next to him and asked with pure innocence, "Why do people kill people who kill people to show people that it's wrong to kill people?"

For some reason, at first he laughed and then he saw that I was serious. Now, in the bed beside me, he is wide awake. As am I… I had an orange mocha cappuccino.

With love,

Benny


	8. Entry IIX

Hey Ewok:

We found another way to annoy the boys… Back and forth word association.

Today's edition:

Benny: Cold?

Kat: Feet?

Benny: Sock?

Kat: Wool?

Benny: Itchy?

Kat: Scratchy?

Benny: Claws-ey?

Kat: Santa-ey?

Benny: JACK!

Kat: Drama Queen!

Benny: Drag Queen!

Kat: Patrick Swazey!

Sam and Dean (simultaneously): WHAT?!

Benny: Muscles!

Kat: Oysters.

Benny: Oysters?

Kat:__Yeah, the inside is the muscle...or somethin' like that.

Benny: Oysters are MUSSLES.

Kat: Ooooooooooh… Hmm… Okay mind is changed. I choose Rambo.

Benny: Fine, Tweety.

Sam and Dean (again… such rude dudes): WHAT?

Kat: Bird.

Benny: Annoying.

Kat: Computers.

Benny: Over-sized calculators.

Kat: Daaaaang.

Sam and Dean: Huh?

Benny *snickers*: Johnny Depp.

Kat: Hot.

Benny: Cold…. DANG IT! Full circle!

Kat: Full Circle!

Benny: Full circle?

Kat: Bad.

Benny: Malo.

Kat: Not English.

Benny: ME!

Kat: Pronoun!

Benny: Con-noun!

Kat: Conair!

Benny: The brush brand? Or the movie?

Kat: Movie.

Benny: Ah… maximum security, minimum gore.

Kat: Alcatraz and Barney.

Benny *gasps*: BARNEY?!

Kat: Evil.

Benny: My pet cat!

Kat: One, you don't have a cat. Two, if you're talking about me; I'll smack you.

Benny: You don't remember the cat I used to have?

Kat:__Oh, yeah...it was an evil little thing. Tried to exorcise it, but turns out it wasn't possessed, it was just plain evil…

Benny: Tried to tell you.

Kat: Hey! Nothing natural should be THAT evil!

Benny: She wasn't THAT evil! She was just misunderstood.

Kat: That's what you say about Hannibal Lecter.

Sam and Dean: What?

Benny: What? I'm fan of DOCTOR Hannibal Lecter…

… SO yeah…


	9. Entry IX

Dear Ewok:

Dean and I discussed cult films and the possibility of cult books. Whether or not the term "cult books" have been coined or used, the two of us have concluded that they do exist based on this logic.

"A Clockwork Orange" was based off a book with the same name, and is considered a cult film. Therefore, why couldn't A Clockwork Orange … The book… be considered cult as well?

Let me know, won't you?

Ha ha.

Love,  
Benny


	10. Entry X

¿Qué pasá, Ewok?

Why is it pronounced "baloney" but spelled "bologna"?

Why are there two spellings of ketchup (catsup)?

Why don't Americans pronounce the "h" in "herb"?

Why is there through and thru?

What's with the three (to, two, too)s?

Hey, there's hay.

Horse is one letter from being a very bad word.

Since when did a gardening tool become a term against women?

Same goes for the proper term for a female dog.

Sorry, Sam and I had a discussion about analogous oddities. Yes, I had to used analogous… Well, get a dictionary or thesaurus! I'm not telling what it means!

GAH! YOU'RE part of the reason why we're known as lazy in other countries…

WHATEVER!

Benny


	11. Entry XI

How are you, Ewok:

I found this random person's profile and found this list of things to ponder. I would like to answer them, myself… SO I WILL!

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?  
Three things: vampires, zombies, and other undead.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?  
Most psychics have too strong of moral values to use their gifts in order to only help themselves… or they're fakes… RIGHT, SAMMY?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?  
Plastic bottle.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?  
Well, I'll answer your question by asking this… How would a doctor practice for what they do? And, why do surgeons "perform"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?  
They make you BROKE-ER.

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?  
It's simply too heavy and/or expensive to make planes out of that metal.

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?  
Yes, idjit.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?  
Depends. Is it to end the voices or trying to stop A voice?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?  
No, just snot…

So what's the speed of dark?  
… The top speed of the 1967 Chevy Impala that Dean owns…

How come abbreviated is such a long word?  
IRONY!

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?  
No. That's just happens.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?  
No. Because my theory is if I don't get stuck by it… I don't CARE!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.  
What about a Play Station®?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?  
Who said it was a fool?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?  
Or have nice teas, yes.

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?  
No, pictures should be on taxi cabs and sidewalk curbs.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?  
Yes, yes we are supposed to.  
EX:  
Dear Mr. Mass-Murderer:  
You are a very, very, very, very, very mean man… How could you kill those poor girls? How do you sleep at night? Aren't you ashamed?  
Sincerely,  
Anonymous  
(DON'T PLACE A RETURN ADDRESS NOR NAME!)

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?  
… Not that much, actually.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.  
Why be vague when you're actually helping people.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?  
No. They don't care about human rules.

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?  
Do YOU wanna test it?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?  
BUBBLEWRAP! *pop-pop-pop-poppity-pop*

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?  
CYA… Cover Your Arse.

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?  
Yes. You should ask my dear friend DOCTOR Hannibal Lecter.

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?  
You caught them, Scotty! Why, do you think, I avoid that CORPERATION?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?  
I dunno. I can I slap him/her?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?  
They're born in the cans? Just joking!

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?  
Companionship whilst talking about the "good ol' days".

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?  
:X … Enough, said.

Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?  
The "Ph" confuses some people.

Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?  
To be cruel.


	12. Entry XII

Dearest Ewok:

I need to confess some things.

I dance to music… though I am totally klutz.

Facebook has been slowly taking over my life… in a blue and white blur.

My bologna doesn't have a first name, because I don't eat bologna.

Kat and I don't have trains of thoughts… She has boats… Boats? Why not motorcycles? They're cooler. I mean, STEVE McQUEEN rode one... several... many... so yeah!

… So… MOVING ON!

Benny


	13. Entry XIIV

Beloved Ewok:

How I love to torture my darling Kat.

Giving her random and obscure nicknames like: "Knick-Knack" , "Shoo-shoo Fontana", "Ribbon", "Pink Floyd", "Donut"…

Getting the "Squirrel Song" stuck in Kat's head… well, among other catchy and slightly annoying tunes… "Badger Song", "Mahna Mahna"… etc.

Programming first said song in her phone for my ringtone… And, changing it back when she tries to change it to something else… or another song of my choice. (That list in an upcoming entry.)

Calling said phone just to talk to her and question her random thought… while in the same room.

Assuming that the term "penguin" as a Sister of the Faith.

Having Luna "go wake up Mommy". (Shows you for making Gracie calling me "Daddy")

Singing really loud old eighties songs.

Speaking in an overly thick Irish accent.

Torturing the boys, thus sending them to her to list a complaint.

Four words: "I am NOT adorable!"

Two more words: Caffeine and sugar.

Bipolar tendencies… not on purpose all the time, though…

Demanding that we room in 1408… even if it's a one-floor hotel.

Waking her up with "John Philip Sousa's March"… (Think "Monty Python's Flying Circus")

Demanding "Fish and Chips".

Being offended when said "Fish and Chips" are served. ("What do I look like to you? A BRIT?!")

Wittingly being a distracted.

Not finishing my sentences.

Talking in txt.

To be continued

With best regards,

Benny


	14. Entry XIV

Ewok:

It's your one and only author, Benny… I demand that you become more humorous and entertain more people… Or, at least, I, myself.

I guess I could honestly say, "I crack myself up," without being egotistical, yeah?

… Now, what was I about to enter in here? Oh, yeah…

I found another way to make Dean feel out of the loop. Just simply quote or refer to/from the book 1984 by George Orwell.

I love making him paranoid. So, of course, this cult book is a great choice.

Now, all I have to do is act as though I've been through the anti-sex youth program and simply state, "Big Brother is watching." Then, he freaks out.

Once he regains his serenity and tries to associate with me again. All I have to is go into Newspeak.

YAY!

With best regards,

Benny.


	15. Entry XV

Heeey, Ewok:

Yeeeah, Dean's not too cool with me. We kinda sorta… lost something of Kat's … and yeaaah…

Dean: YOU THINK IT'S MY FAULT?

Benny: Hey, I didn't say that it was YOUR fault. I'm just gonna blame you.

Dean: Oh, that's SO much better.

Benny: Yeah, it is. I mean, if you say it's an accident, she'll forgive you. If **I** say it was an accident, I get a boot up the rump. And, by the way, it hurts when that happens.

He soon walked off doing his broody brood thing. I knew immediately who could solve the situation. And, I came up to with my cutest toy ever in hand. I sat on my haunches, with Mr. Wiggins behind my back and looked at him in the eyes.

Benny {holds up Mr. Wiggins}: This is Mr. Wiggins. He is now your therapist.

Dean {takes Mr. Wiggins}: Why am not I surprised that 'Mr. Wiggins' is a platypus.

Benny: Because he's an oddity… Just like you and me! {Big smile}

Dean: Why am I, once again, not surprise that you just rhymed.

Benny: Because I'm Abby-Normal that way.

Dean: OH, is that so? Then, what am I?

Benny {mutters}: Someone I'd never mind spending time with.

Dean: What?

Benny {sighs}: Someone I'd never mind spending time with.

Dean: Oh?

Benny {nods}: Yes. {shakes head, pigtails fly back and forth} But, not in this broody brood state, Dean. Talk to Mr. Wiggins and I'll see you later.

He hasn't treated me the same sense… Why?!

Please answer.

Benny


	16. Entry XVI

Greetings Ewok:

Dean and I had a great conversation.

Dean: What's on your mind now, Benny?

Benny: Why do you ask?

Dean: You have that look in your eye.

Benny: Which one?

Dean: Which do you mean? Eye or look?

Benny: Eye.

Dean: Well, excuse ME, 'your eyes'.

Benny: Thanks.

Dean: Where was I?

Benny: Something about what's going on in my inner monologue.

Dean: Did I say that?

Benny: No, but it sounded good.

Dean: I have to agree it—Hey, you're trying to get me off track.

Benny: Apparently it's kinda working.

Dean: You haven't fooled me one bit.

Benny: How could I trick the King of Fools?

Dean: YEAH! Wait…

Benny: Yeah, you just made my point, Quazi.

Dean: Huh?

Benny: Quazimoto. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"?

Dean: Did see that one.

Benny: Which one?

Dean: Now, don't start that again.

Benny: I'm serious. There's the really early version… or the Disney version… I'm sure there's another version somewhere.

Dean: EITHER… OR… whatever.

Benny: Personally. I prefer the 1930s version. Much closer to the story, and for the time, the makeup was extraordinary.

Dean: Really? I have to watch that now…

Benny: Do you know where we can access it?

Dean: We could try the web.

Benny: Shall we?

Dean: Yes.

Serves him right for trying to accuse me of having something up my sleeve, huh? Ha ha.

With love,

Benny


	17. Entry XVII

DUDE, EWOK:

Dude, you won't believe this I totally pwned Sam and Kat this evening!

For being such jerks and messing with the Impala's tapes… I took off all of the files on their computer, put said files on thumb-drives, hacked some of my favorite stuff on their computers and put some good stickers on them.

When, in the time of discussion, I offered Kat the thumb-drive with Sam's files. And, after forcing him to pinkie swear, gave Sam the one with Kat's files.

Soon after I was running around, like the goon I am… while we, Dean and I, were waiting for the take-out orders to be filled. I stumbled and fell into the booth next to Dean. He then, proceeded to kiss my butt… and not metaphorically kissed me…

Man, he is really affectionate lately. I wonder if he's sick…

Hmm…

Laters,

Benny.


	18. Entry XIIX

Ewok:

How could I have let her down?

How could I have let that bugger take my sister?

How could I have let Sam down?

How could I have let BOBBY down?

And, what about Dean? He had to not only get rid of the demon, but also he had to kill my sister. He had to aim the Colt's barrel to be in between Kat's beautiful blue eyes and 'cause pain and relief at the same instant in time.

I should've found another way… I'm great at finding things, usually. Car keys. Wallets. Trouble.

I, also, should have known that Timothy wouldn't have been effective against the git with Kat's power still within her body. Gah, the things I do when I'm desperate.

Maybe the bugger was right. Maybe I was restraining her from her potential. I thought I let her be with her… gift. I mean, I'm just a kid with a knack for blades… and finding trouble, as I said before. She was never the trouble lightning rod, I was.

Kat's ability was her own.

I still remember the one discussion we had about it… of course, it was only a little over a year, now.

_Kat sits next to Benny with a confused look on face._

_Benny grins: What's up, Buttercup?_

_Kat: You know how that waitress just ticked me off?_

_Benny serious face: Yeah, why? Do you want me to go namesake on her?_

_Kat shakes her head: No. That salt shaker just moved from the carrier-thingy to the other end of the table._

_Benny: Did you do it?_

_Kat nods and almost whispers: I think, so, Ben. I don't think that's good._

_Benny: Are you possessed?_

_Kat gives serious look: Do I seem possessed?_

_Benny: No, but I don't think that an event like that should be foreshadowing any doom for you, Kat. You're not a demon, you're not possessed… you're just a bit different._

_Kat: Whoopie._

_Benny: Heeeey, what's wrong with being different? {sips on coffee} I mean, I'm technically weird to our own abby-normal community. I mean, MOST hunters are gun-dominant or equally tactically inclined with any weapon. I'M dominant with blade and bow…_

_Kat: Truuuuee…_

_Benny: Don't true, me. You know I'm right. Hey, your blade aim might increase. {grins over mug}_

_Kat hits Benny's shoulder, but grins, also._


	19. Entry XIX

Dearest Ewok:

So much has happened.

Sam has admitted to adultery.

Kat didn't kill me when I followed her, after she found up. Actually the two of us wound up getting ice cream and other nommy junk foods. (YAY!) Then, we later watched girly films like: "Princess Bride", both "Terminators", the Batman movies, the Lethal Weapons, the Indiana Jones…es, the orginal Star Wars trilogy (because they're the only decent ones!), and… yeah…

I'm still trying to figure out what happened between when Sam entered the room where Dean and I were playing another round of "Guess-what-I-put-in-you-drink-this-time", and next I'm threaten-ing the life of a man whom I consider my best dude friend with Timothy.

Speaking of Timothy, I need to check on Abby. It's been a while since I've check on him. I should probably take him out for a run some time.

"Well, until next time. Ta ta."

Benny


	20. Stupid Interview Person

Dana Askins: Hello, again. This is Dana Askins and I am here with demon hunter and film nut, Benjamina Burton.  
Benjamina "Benny" Burton: Dude! Ew, full name. At least, you didn't middle name me. {shudders} That would've been wor—{watches me write what's happening, curious tone} Hey, what are you writing for? {rolls eyes} Am I being "analyzed" again? Funny, I wouldn't 've thought you a white coat… or a tan coat.. {shrugs and lies on couch, Conversed feet on the back of it} Is this okay? {before I can answer} Okay. My dad was more neurotic than I am. And, that's saying something, since I'm being "analyzed" once more. {rolls eyes}

DA: Miss Burton, I'm not analyzing your mental well being. I'm an interviewing you. See? {shows note pad} I've just been writing what's been going on. Helping people get a better image of the conversation.

Benny: {glares, flat tone} It's Benny. Call me anything with respect or my full name and I'll introduce you to Timothy. {lighter tone} And, secondly, it's good you're not a shrink, because you'd have a hella time working on my mind. {points to self with index and middle fingers of her right hand, a sly grin is placed appropriately.} Just remember {points fingers at me} no formalities. Or, you'll meet my thirsty friend.

DA: Okay… Understood, ma'am. I'll –

Benny: {interrupts her by pulling out "Timothy", a silver cut-throat blade} No, formalities, remember? I don't deserve them. Nor do you, at the present moment in time. Miss Askins, meet Timothy. He's forged of pure metal.

DA: Hello, Timothy.

Benny: You know what "pure" metal is, Miss Askins?

DA: No, I don't. Can we—

Benny: Pure metal is forged with holy water and this one is inlayed with silver. I suck with guns, so I had inherited this form a priest… Padre Emilio. I'm not particularly fond of Roman Catholics, but he was an exception to the rule. He gave me a lot of training, food, shelter, and respect. Like many of my darling connections.

DA: It seems you have a lot of "connections". How is it that you come by them in your line of… work?

Benny:  By the way, your handwriting is worth than mine. {laughs, rolling on the couch. Her Converses kicking at the air} Okay, okay. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. I truly hope you don't plan on referring to me as "B.B."…. {darkly chuckles and says in a lighter tone} Alright, what was it? Oh, yeah… My connections. Well, to be honest I dunno. {grins} Kat, my "adopted" sister (as you know her), call it a gift of mine. {adopts a Midwestern American Accent. She waves her hand, obviously quoting her sister, directly} "… among other oddities that make up the person that we know and have to love." {grins, and continues with her normal Irish accent.} You know? I just call it cultivated charisma and natural charm. And, no, those are not the same. I mean, how else is it that you haven't wet your knickers, ran out of this little "cozy" (more like claustrophobia-inducing) spit of room, and called the guards on me, yet? … Well, I mean other than that's how you get the new DVDs in the player and the 'Tunes in the 'Pod, of course.

…

{continues in a curious tone} Why'd you put the ellipsis down, there? You nodded (a definite body sign of agreement) and did that little twitchy shrug (a definite sign of admission). Yes, I read body language. {exaggerates a gasp} What? You don't think an Irish born nut could read an American's body language. {roll eyes} Please, it's almost completely universal. Unlike, your fake Rolex wristwatch... That's Mexican.

DA: Nice try. This is a real Rolex… Benny.

Benny: {grins} Yeah, tell yourself that, mate… You see how the second hand ticks? Yeah? Rolexes don't tick, mate. They smoothly run.

DA: How do you know that?

Benny:{grins} History Channel. I was watching it, while trying to look calm during Kat's delivery… {flops back on seat further} Gah, that was brutal. I'm still surprised how I didn't completely spazz out. I was lucky to have Dean calm down, when he did.

DA: Why was that? Were you near your breaking point, or something?

Benny: Yeah, something. I've already passed my "breaking point", long ago, dude… Nah, I just need to crash. As the boys later joked, if it weren't for me no being in a hospital bed, you would've guessed I had a kid, too.

DA: {chuckles} Yeah, from what little I saw of them. They seem the type. What do you think of your future brother-in-law.

Benny:  I love Sammy as much as a person can non-sexually love another. He and I can nerd out together and not have to worry about macho-ness or feminity getting in the way. {grins} It's not like I've had him put on heels with me, or anything like that, it's just… he and I are totally like… {sighs} Have you heard of romantic friendships?

DA:  Isn't that a "relationship"? Are you having an affair with Sam?

Benny: Quite contrary. There's not one ounce of sexuality between us. Think of us as … neutered and spayed, when it comes to our relationship. But, the romantic friendship is very rare anymore. Most are seen as "sexual relationships"… especially those of the same gender. I think that's what Sam and I have. We're just really close friends. As Kat placed it, "It's like you two have been rooming together for years and know each other's habits and take them with ease." Even though, I'm a total slob and Sam has to have a clean room.

DA: Your fiancé told me to ask you about a really weird incident of a shower swap?

Benny: {blushes} Well, the four of us needed to take showers in a short period of time. So the schedule was set up with Dean first, Kat second, me third, and then, finally Sam. Well, I finished my shower and there was no towel left. Sam was walking in and looked ϋber-bummed. So, he's looking into the bathroom, removing his shoes, socks, whatnot and I was getting my pants on, by then. I just turned to him and said, "Don't look." He cover his eyes as I put on my bra and shirt, handing him the towel.

DA: No wonder you believe that you two are an example of "romantic friendships"…

Benny: {shrugs} Meh. It's kinda cool, I mean. It's the best friend I've always wanted. It just so happens my sister is marrying him… so, he's going to be my brother. So, yay.

DA: What about your own marriage?

Benny: Dude, don't even start. I'm not ready. {laughs} I'm more cold footed than a penguin. Not, that I'm NOT going to through with it. It's just like looking at the deep side of a pool when first learning to swim. Right now, it's the countdown right before I squeeze my eyes shut and whisper, "Here we go."

DA: But, wouldn't that eventually lead to you getting out of the pool?

Benny: I plan on drowning and dying in the pool in this metaphor, ma'am. I don't plan on ever leaving Dean.

DA: That's oddly romantic.

Benny:  That's the only romance you'll get from me.

DA: There's also talk about your odd tastes.

Benny: {laughs} In what area or areas in life? In almost any area where you can have a "taste" for something, I usually have an abby-normal one.

DA: Music?

Benny: Totally. One moment Frank Sinatra, next Run DMC, next Gorillaz, next some obscure indie band…. So on and so on.

DA: How can you have a weird taste in clothes.

Benny: I have a stripes and Converse® "obsession".

DA: Stripes?

Benny: You have a problem with it? I'd hope not. You know, Timothy is still thirsty…

DA: {raises hands} I'm not saying anything…

Benny:  Any other questions? I mean, I'm kinda hungry…

DA: That's all. Can I call you if I have any questions?

Benny: Text is cheaper. And, no stupid forwards! {sits up} Alright. I'm outtie. {steps towards door} See ya later, man.


	21. Entry XX

Dear Ewok:

I'm so hungry, it's not even funny. Wish Dean would hurry up so we can go inside and grab some food.

I shout out the window, where my converses hang: THE IMPALA'S FINE!

My stomach is another story. It's demanding substance in trade for silence on its behalf.

I yell again after another growl erupts: MOVE IT, WINCHESTER!

Now, he's checking the lights! Left turn signal! Right turn signal! Running lights! ... THEY'RE ALL WORKING!

I'm sitting in the car "improperly", waiting "impatiently" for him to get done wiht this "very necessary" FIFTY-BILLION POINT INSPECTION! 'Cause HEAVEN FORBID that there's a speck of dead bug on the front license plate!

I huff and remove my earphones as he finally crawls into the driver's seat.

{About bloody time, gear-head.}

[Isn't that partially why you love him?]

{Shut up, brain}

He now looks over at me with a sheepish grin, trying to ease my ticked off expression. His cute eyes and cuter smile against crossed arms, narrowed eyes, flat line lips, and a stern jaw.

"I'm sorry, Ben" And what do I do?! FORGIVE HIM!

It doesn't help that he has taken me to a restaurant with the best Dutch apple pie a la mode... EVER.

Dude, seriously it was THE best pie. And, I should know... I love pie. But, Dean and I have agreed that Kat and Sam mustn't know of the pie connection. We already get comments with the nonexistent connection between us.

It's not like Kat DOESN'T taunt me with images with my own "dream" wedding

Her vision of our perfect wedding is as follows" "Lots of blacks, reds, whites, and silvers. Metal and cloth. Tim Burton would be the preacher. So, lots of stripes and curls. Slash would play the wedding march. So, they're be a top hat. He'd be in his Guns n' Roses t-shirt under a pinstriped jacket and black slacks, over his boots. You'd be in a weirdo dress over pinstriped pants... and your Converses, of course. You two would drive off in your separate vehicles..."

Thanks, Kat... Thanks.

Okay! Enough of Memory Lane!

Loves,

Benny


	22. Entry XXI

Ow, ow, ow… Hey Ewok:

I twisted my ankle.

Hey, I never said I was graceful! I was about to turn and grab my iced tea, with copious amounts of sugar within it, and … yeah…

Ow.

I told Kat I can't stay in scrubs and nurses shoes for long, or I'll easily become an ironic statement. AND I WAS RIGHT!

Now, here I am limping around with a wrap around my ankle, and Sam asking twenty times a google-plex of questions of my at the nano-second status.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." _Stop asking!_

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Sam." _No, I'm completely oblivious of my own feelings._

"Maybe you should sit down and let your foot rest, huh?"

"No, I'm fine." _Maybe you should sit down and allow yourself to breathe normally._

"Don't you want me to get some ice or a heat pack for it? Maybe a foot message?"

"Sam, I'm fiiiiine…" _Now, leave me the hotel-echo-love-love up._

ALL DAY LONG, this has been going on. WHY?! I wanted his attention, but not like this… Not out of worry, sympathy… weird older-but-really-younger-brother-ness.

… I just… Want a cookie.

…

Weirdest thing just happened. Just as I wrote down, "… I just… Want a cookie." Dean came up to me, sat down near me and lays down a big still warm chocolate chip cookie and asks, "So, do want to kill Sam yet?"

That made me laugh, man. Only people like Dean and I could get what I'm going through.

Laters,

Benny


	23. Entry XXII

Ewok:

When I was in my Senior year of high school this little eight grader asked me out, during a performance of the school play. I told him I already had a boyfriend. A lie… I lied because he was just wanting to be with someone. I can't do that. If I'm going out with someone, I have to care for them. All I did feel for the kid was enough respect to want to defend him. He was blind due to his severe diabetes.

I still think about that kid. Why was he so desperate to ask "every girl in our school" out?

I dunno. But, sometimes I think I understand why he would just want to be with someone. I look over and see Dean, asleep on the bed next to mine. One arm under the pillow, the other sprawled upwards behind his head. He looks so peaceful, yet inviting.

I wonder if that kid ever dreamt of experiencing this longing for someone.

Sometimes I understand the need for companionship; that most of us seem to possess. I look over and see Dean, playing on the computer (still not really researching), and Kat and Sam, holding each other close.

I wonder if that kid ever understood pain.

I look over and see Dean, eyes tear-filled and dead, jaw slacken, brows neutral… holding a gun.

(insert mental shiver) I often dream of that.

Laters,

Benny


	24. Entry XXIII

Hello... Ewok:

I'm Dean Winchester. Benny has probably ranted on my self-centered, chauvanist... womanizing, arrogant, glutonizing self. But, I want her to know I actually... Use my brain. Like when we were in the Impala…

It happened last night, driving to the hotel after a long day. We had the radio off so Kat and Sam could sleep. Nothing awkward about that! Not.

All of the sudden I had this stupid piano solo stuck in my head. I couldn't get it out of my head, so I was humming trying to figure out where I knew it from.

Apparently, Benny knew because she suddenly began softly singing, "Just a hometown girl… livin' in a lonely wooooorld… she took the midnight train going an-y-where…."

_Of course, Journey… _I finally recalled. I couldn't stop myself… I started to dorkily belt out, "… Just a city boy… born and raised in south Detriot… He took the midnight train going an-y-where…"

Before we could realize what was going on… "and on and on and on… Don't stop believin'…"

Me: HOLD ONTO THAT FEELING

Both: Streetlight people…

Then, we heard giggling from behind us.

Kat grinned, "Are we bonding?"

_I hate when they say, "We"… like they are part of the person or group._

Benny came back with a cool, "I dunno, are ya?"

Kat just shook her head and muttered, "Weirdos," while closing her eyes, going back to sleep.

"So, do you often have guilty pleasures stuck in your head?" Benny asked once Kat was really back to sleep… we knew because she murmured in her sleep about shoes in the fridge.

"Only around you, it seems."

Surprisingly she didn't react in a violent manner… as she seems to do… "Glad to be rubbing off on you. Wait 'til you start humming show tunes."

So… yeah… I better put this back.

Dean Winchester


	25. Entry XXIV

EWOK! You're back! Oh, I missed you…

Dean Winchester is dead. He wrote in you… and said slight lies…

Like him using his head.

I wanted to update you on some of Kat's newest sleep talking things.

"Shoes… in the fridge/freezer..."

"… get the spatula… for the grass…"

"Hat's… in the deep fryer…"

"… No no… other tree…"

"… Good ducky…"

"I don't wanna ride the boat…"

"… don't use that spork… on Mom…"

"… Go… forks…"

"…dutch apple crisp in the engine…"

(In a Cockney accent) "… You just sit down, right there, my dear… a'righ'?"

Love,

Benny


	26. Entry XXV: Benny's Confession List

Thirteen Confessions from a Nutter

Confession #1: Every time I hear Sean Paul's "Temperature" I start trying to dance… apparently I can "river dance" to the steady bass beat. [shrugs] I dunno. That's just a thought.

Confession #2: I make nom-nom noises.

Confession #3: I like to act like a zombie… Because one of these maybe someone will put a collar and leash one me… I want to be bffs with someone who always wanted a pet zombie… you may say I'm a fangirl of zombies. {insert an imaginary flashback of me glomping some poor chap dressed as a zombie…  
_Badger: . [sees zombie]  
Chap Dressed as Zombie: !  
Badger: [is in mid-glomp] ZOMBIIIIIIIIIIIE! ^.^  
Twenty minutes later:  
Badger: [is proud of self grins, has chap dressed as a zombie in a collar and leash] ^.^_  
Yep, good times.}

Confession #4: "There's a zombie on your lawn… There's a zombie on your lawn… There's a zombie on your lawn… We don't want zombies on the lawn…" I will sing this song randomly.

Confession #5: I love the song "When I Grow Up" by the Pussycat Dolls… I. Just. Do. K?

Confession #6: I try to come up with the most unique metaphors as possible.

Confession #7:" I like stripes, stripes is what I likes, stripes of every type, stripes, stripes, stripes!"

Confession #8: My most proud piece of writing is a paper for bonus points in my Freshman year of college. I got all twenty-five possible points and got the comment of "Unique!" The class was psychology and the paper was on the Glore Psychiatric Museum.

Confession #9: Cold will actually cause me physical pain.

Confession #10: Hell is based on person to person.

Confession #11: I told Dean beat Guitar Hero II on Medium after a month. (I did it in two hours.)

Confession #12: I actually like hearing Dean and Sam accidentally call me, "Ben". Bobby and the boys are the only males allowed to call me that in certain circumstances.

Confession #14: Thirteen is a holy number to me and should only be used in certain circumstances. Counting doesn't count.


	27. Entry XXVI: Benny and the Zit

"EWWWW!" I nearly squealed. Yes, I, Benny Burton, nearly squealed like a stuck pig. (Don't tell Sammy and Dean, they'd never let me live it down.) "How can one zit hold so much pus?"

"Pimples kinda do that, Ben," Kat informed me through the door, reading her latest book, no doubt.

"It's disgusting!" I whined. "I wasn't even popping it. I was just washing my face and the bugger sprayed its nasty pus over the sink mirror!" I gagged as I wiped and cleaned off the marred image of myself in the mirror and then cleaned my face again, placing a white bandage on my nose where the spot was. I sighed, stopped, and laughed as it looked like a familiar scene. After placing more white bandages around my nose and slicking my hair back, I walked back out and asked in an excited mood, "Who am I?"

Kat stopped, looked at me, and didn't get it.

Dad walked in, dropped his bag and walked up to me briskly, looked at me and laughed. "You look kinda Jack Nicholson in Chinatown!"

"YES!" I giggled and hugged Dad. "That's what I was going for, but Kat totally didn't get it."

"That's because we're the film nerds of the family, Lori," he chuckled and rubbed at my hair. "Now, get ready. We're eating out tonight."

"It better not be the pizza parlor again," Kat said. "I think Benny and I have had too much of it."

"Is that so?" he smirked.

"Yeah, dairy agitates the skin," I agreed and took off the fake bandages and pointed to the one on my nose for the bleeding former boil.

"Ouch, yeah," he said, nodding. He did that a lot when he was considering his options. He's where Kat gets a LOT of her intellectual quirks… Okay, about half of her idiosyncrasies, really. "How about Brian's, then?"

"That sounds good to me, actually. Just as long as we don't sit in another corner, actually," answered Kat. "I've been craving some different things."

"Like Billy Matson?" I teased as I buttoned on my favorite black vest.

Kat blushed, "Nooooo…"

Dad thumped me as I left and chided me for teasing her.

"Hey, she'd start worrying if I didn't, padre," I contorted.

"Just be ready in a quarter of an hour," he warned us.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Telling-Time- Oddly, Sir!" Kat chimed.

How I miss those days sometimes… what am I saying. I constantly wish we were back in the days of sun.


End file.
